Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
