fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
