Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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