I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
