Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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