No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
