My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
