trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I would ride that face into the sunset
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
