Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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