Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
