i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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