If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
