i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
