I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
