Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
