he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
