you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize