let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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