i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
