Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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