Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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