I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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