My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
