Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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