that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize