How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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