yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize