is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
as a side note pls kill me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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