so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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