Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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