I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize