god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
