I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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