last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
