There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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