First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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