remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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