3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i think im in europe. pls send help
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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