I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
