The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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