i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
