Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
