I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
PS: I just woke up from my shower
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize