Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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