i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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