if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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