I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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