Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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