all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
