glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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