whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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