I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm passing your future prison.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Actions speak louder than pants.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
