i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
