I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
