I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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