Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
