oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
