How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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