There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
