Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Randomize
