Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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