The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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