Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
