i always forget guys have bellybuttons
areolas are like halos for boobs.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
