This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize