If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
