so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's official drugs can't kill me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
