I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
