Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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