strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
