I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
