therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
this beer tastes like vomit already
birth control should be required to get into college
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
