I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
