i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
