Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
