Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize