do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
