Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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