hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
